Feminine MAN

By Josh Bynum

This editorial was inspired by my internet friend, Jamont Hanshaw’s article for Very Good Light, you may view that here: http://www.verygoodlight.com/2016/10/17/black-hypermasculinity/

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Josh Bynum posing with his mother. Photo courtesy of Josh Bynum.

Each day at Henrico High School, I am judged. I’m judged on the basis of my interests, my mannerisms, my style, my walk. Anything that I do is a problem to my hyper-masculine male peers. Since a young age I’ve felt as though I’ve been rejected from male social groups due to my lack of knowledge in sports and womanizing. Therefore, I had to rely on female companionship. What people fail to realize is that I didn’t choose to be this way, but this is who I am.

 

I am FEMININE; I accept it and you should too.

Being a feminine male doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be a homosexual. For those who have judged me, at least get to know me first before you cast assumptions on me. I feel as though my upbringing is what made me come to this resolution. I have always been a “mama’s boy” and I’ve gained many of my mother’s qualities and mannerisms.

Being a part of a dysfunctional family, you spend a lot of time getting to know yourself which is how I found out who I truly am. I am involved in activities that are traditionally deemed “girly” such as fashion and art.

Those who know me know that I am a photographer and one day I was talking about make-up for a shoot in class and one of my male “friends” said I shouldn’t have been talking about that because “That’s gay”.

Society expects all men to be “players” and that’s just not me. I’m a good guy.  I can’t just have a whole bunch of women because that’s not how I was raised. My father put my mom through so much by doing things like that.

I spend days and nights wondering why I am an outcast or picked on among my male peers. They just don’t understand me.

I’m tired of being the subject of endless bullying when most of the time, it’s people who don’t spend the time to get to know me and understand me.  People are mean because they deem it funny.  In reality, it’s not funny at all.  Sexual orientation is not a joke; this is how rumors begin. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with homosexuals at all, but that is not my sexual orientation. People shouldn’t assume someone’s orientation because what society has deemed to be the perfect example of a “male” or ‘female”.

Just because someone doesn’t conform to preconceived guidelines (gender roles) doesn’t automatically make them homosexual. If you believe someone is a part of the LGBTQ community, just ask them privately.  Don’t make it a big deal or “put them on blast”.

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Josh Bynum posing for a photo. Photo courtesy of Josh Bynum.

Gender inequality exists on both sides and on all levels. Femininity does not only belong to women and masculinity does not only belong to men. I am a feminine HETEROSEXUAL male and I’m not afraid to say it.  We need to be proud of who we are because we live in a world that is not.

 

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